It has already been 3 years since I am in Moscow. There were good days and bad days too. I went there for love as I told myself. But love is gone and I am still here. I has been telling myself everytime I stay there because of my work. Are these words the only truth? Is this the only one reason for keeping my inside this foreign country and this crazy city? I realized I faced the truth. I have always dreamt about leaving Brest, to go somewhere, to explore new horizons. Just to escape this still comfortable swamp without any future. I saw the chance and I took it without any doubt. He was my ticket.
And now, after 3 years I’ve started thinking about the return. Is it a good idea? What’s the future is waiting for me? What about the work? If I’ll return, I have to start from the beginning. I am not afraid, I am a little bit mad, I know it. But the question of the future isn’t leaving me in peace, I haven’t make any decisions yet. My home. My family. I miss them. But I’ll exactly miss the dynamic of Moscow, it’s spirit, it’s beauty. I have a connection with it an became it’s part.
So, the question is where the way is. And I do need the sigh. But maybe what is truly needed is a spark, that leads to fire. Because I am a fire, and always was.